Another month, another period.
First of all, thank you very much to everyone who read and responded to my post about How 2021 Changed Me. To receive hundreds of messages, emails, and texts about all of your conception journeys was incredibly validating. Thank you so much for being open with me and sharing your stories, I feel connected to all of you.
That post opened me up to a world where I am not alone in the struggle to start a family. In fact, you have all shown me exactly how common fertility struggles actually are. People I have known for years told me about their losses. Families that I have photographed opened up about how hard they worked to meet their babies. Some of you literally stopped me in the street to share a hug and a story. I cried in front of a lot of you, but I appreciated every single connection.
You also showed me how little it is all talked about.
Almost every person who shared their story with me also said that they felt alone or like they were a failure.
Hence, this post. I have decided to share more updates about our trying to conceive (TTC) journey. Writing about this topic is very therapeutic for me and hopefully will provide some solidarity to others walking the same path.
How It Started
We decided we wanted to start a family around August 2020. Both my husband and I thought it was an easy thing to get pregnant and that we would have no problems, as most people do. I naively believed that all you had to do to get pregnant was stop using protection.
We were both surprised to learn that you can actually only get pregnant for a 24-48 hour window each cycle. Originally I thought it could happen at any time during the month, but we soon learned that is not true: there is just 1-2 days every month that you can get pregnant.
From there, we discovered and tried a bunch of different tools to help us track and time everything correctly. We used ovulation strips, worked with a naturopath, worked with a fertility clinic, measured my basal body temp (BBT) every morning, ate healthy foods, stayed active, rested, tried osteotherapy, tried reiki, tried acupuncture …
But despite our best efforts, the months continued on.
18 Months TTC
So where are we at now? Well, our eighteenth month TTC has just passed. I am exhausted by all the tracking and trying new things.
To be honest, I have lost hope a little bit that it will ever happen for us. I don’t believe this to be completely true, but it’s where my head is at right now.
For the last 18 months we have been trying everything and have felt energetic about the process. Now though, we are putting all of that on the shelf for a while to take a break. Nothing will be tracked, monitored or calculated for the next while. Instead, we are going to focus on other fun things we want to enjoy this summer like rebuilding our house, attending a few weddings, visiting family and enjoying our hobbies.
We are not giving up, it’s just time for a break. We are ready to relax and stop obsessing over everything. It’s time to let go and see where the wind blows us.
*Please note that I appreciate everyone’s intent to help but I am not accepting advice or alternatives to try right now, maybe later! : )